This Pixar Movie Will Make You a Better Real Estate Agent

If you've been following Performance Coaching for any length of time, you've already heard a lot about Tactical Empathy. 

You've heard it's the art and science of making people feel understood, without necessarily agreeing with them.

You've heard it's the key to becoming the trusted advisor your clients want and need.

You've heard it's essential for breaking free from the endless, exhausting cycle of chasing deals.

But if you haven't seen it in practice, you might be wondering what it looks like.

Well, this Pixar scene absolutely NAILS IT.

Let's break this down, because it perfectly illustrates what real estate agents do wrong all the time—and what to do instead. 

Bing Bong loses something precious to him, and he's devastated. He sits down and tries to process what just happened, holding the group back from what they really need to do, which is get to the train station.

First, Joy tries to spin the loss as no big deal and refocus Bing Bong on the goal. She tries to tease, cajole, and distract him, but none of it works.

Then, Sadness comes over, sits next to Bing Bong, and makes him feel understood. She labels what he's feeling, which draws him into talking about it, and she genuinely 

listens. Bing Bong starts to cry, and Sadness just gives him a hug and lets him feel what he's feeling.

Joy doesn't like this. She assumes that allowing Bing Bong to focus on his pain will only derail them further…but she's WRONG. 

This is the magical part: after a minute, Bing Bong decides on his own to get up and lead everyone to the train station.

This is exactly what Tactical Empathy is all about: seeing the world through the other person's eyes and acknowledging what they're thinking and feeling.

You can spew facts, logic, and reason all day, but when emotions are at play, it will go in one ear and out the other. When you validate their feelings and let them process, they can move forward.

In a tough market like this one, this skill is more important than ever.

Today, there's a growing gap between where sellers want to price their homes and what buyers want to pay. Sellers are looking in the rearview mirror at last year's prices, and buyers are looking ahead—and seeing their purchasing power dampened by higher interest rates.

That means it's going to take a lot of tough conversations to put deals together in the coming months.  

For example, let's say a seller has listed at $2.39 million. He gets two offers, one at $2.1 million and another at $2.2 million with great terms: all cash, non-contingent, 7 day close.

The thing is, the seller was actually hoping for at least $2.5 million.

Most real estate agents would pull a "Joy." They would present the offer as a great win and focus on the positive aspects of it, trying to convince the seller to take it because they know it's the best he's gonna get.

Wrong move. 

The "Sadness" way—the Tactical Empathy way—is to acknowledge that to the seller, it's not a win: "I have some bad news…we got an offer, but it’s nowhere near what we wanted. You’re probably going to be offended.”

He asks what the offer is, and you tell him the facts. Then, you label what he's thinking and feeling: “You probably don’t think these people are serious. There’s probably no way you want to counter this offer.”

If your label is right, he feels understood, and if it's not, he explains his thinking and then feels understood. 

That opens the door to reframe the situation: “Would you mind if I ask you a question? What if the best buyer in the market right now is not willing to pay what you think your home is worth?”

This gives him ownership over the next move. If he's unwilling to budge on price, he may decide to take the home off the market. But if he's committed to selling, he'll choose to counter the offer.

Either way, he'll make the choice willingly, all on his own, without any persuading or cajoling from you.

The "Joy" approach pits you against your client, and you either get nowhere, or they come with you reluctantly and resentfully. Neither outcome is good.

The Tactical Empathy approach puts you on the same side and lets you move forward together, with the client in the driver's seat where they belong. 

If you see the value in Tactical Empathy, mark your calendar for March 25-26, 2024—the dates of The Full Fee Agent Conference in Los Angeles, CA.

It's two full days of in person learning and networking with other agents who are committed to doing business this way. Hope to see you there!

Have a great week,

Steve