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The One Idea That Changed My Real Estate Coaching Forever

tactical empathy Feb 10, 2024
dealing cards on casino table with gambling chips

Eight years ago, when I first read Never Split the Difference by Chris Voss, one idea grabbed my attention immediately…

“You cannot overcome emotion with fact, logic, and reason.”

When I read that, I knew instantly that it was the TRUTH…and that triggered a 180-degree shift in my coaching practice, overnight.

Immediately, it became clear to me that Tactical Empathy—the art of making people feel understood—was the missing piece in sales.

Typical sales training teaches you to ask questions and find out about the client’s situation, then jump straight into selling. It skips right over the step that builds trust, puts you on the same side of the table, and changes the whole dynamic of the relationship.

Because the reality is that until someone feels understood, they can’t hear a word you say.

That truth is why I radically changed my coaching and why I reached out to Chris to help me do it. And after a few years of coaching together, we put what we had learned into the book you all know and love: The Full Fee Agent

I want to call your attention to the book’s subtitle: “How to Stack the Odds in Your Favor as a Real Estate Professional.” 

As Chris says all the time, we live in a Las Vegas world. It’s a world of possibilities and probabilities, not absolutes. Stacking the odds means learning how to focus your efforts on high-probability opportunities and let the low-probability ones go.

That’s exactly what Tactical Empathy allows you to do.

Because the playing field is NOT level. The entire real estate industry is built on the premise that you win and lose business based on your ability to articulate and present your value…but that’s simply not true.

Before you ever get to talk to the client, they’ve done their research and mostly made up their mind. You’re either the Favorite or the Fool. You either have an 80% chance of winning the business, or a 20% chance.

Stacking the odds means walking away from the 20% chances so you can find more 80% chances.

And to tell the difference between the two, you have to use Tactical Empathy—you have to make the client feel understood.

Most agents don’t distinguish between high and low probability opportunities. They get that call and jump right into preparing the presentation, driving to the property, meeting with the client, driving back, and waiting to get an answer.

They put in 6 - 8 hours of work or more and live for days in high uncertainty…

When they could have gotten the same answer in 15 minutes or less with Tactical Empathy.

Who WOULDN’T want to learn this skill?

Most people, actually…because it’s so scary to find out the truth. It feels better to live with false hope than to see “maybe” turn into “yes” or “no.” It feels better to pretend you have control over the other person’s decision.

It feels better…but it doesn’t WORK better.

It only keeps you stuck on a treadmill to nowhere. 

Because the truth is, when you get that call, the decision is already made. You don’t have any control over whether you’re the Favorite or the Fool. You only have control over how long it takes to find out.

If you want to be the Favorite more often, you have to cultivate relationships…

But if you keep chasing deals, you won’t have time for that.

Chasing is the treadmill that leads to nowhere: the more you chase, the more you have to keep chasing. 

The Full Fee Agent Conference on March 25-26 is your opportunity to get OFF the treadmill to nowhere.

It’s your opportunity to see this business with a brand new pair of eyes.

It’s your opportunity to build a business that’s sustainable, scalable, and stress-free.

If you’ve ever hoped for a magic pill, a silver bullet, a better way… 


Because to be frank, you will never figure this out on your own. You’re programmed in the opposite direction, and the only way to unwind that is to see other people doing it differently—and succeeding.

There’s no more powerful way to do that than at an in-person conference.

You’ll get more in 2 days of immersion than you’ll get in a year of reading this blog and listening to calls.

You’ll hear it all at once instead of piecemeal. You’ll meet other agents who are doing it and having success. You’ll start to understand how it all works as a philosophy and a system, not just a bunch of tactics.

And if you do that, it will be the biggest game changer you can imagine.

I say that after coaching for 30+ years. There’s nothing out there that’s comparable, not even close. I believe that from the bottom of my heart—that’s why I went all in the moment I learned about Tactical Empathy.

Every agent is capable of mastering this, if they choose…and the rewards are massive. 

You get to take the mask off and be an actual human being instead of a sales person.

You get to be unafraid of any hard conversation—even the ones you dread today.

You get to stop stressing out over where your next deal is coming from.

You get to step off the path to burnout, off that treadmill to nowhere.

Every week, nearly 70% of the people who get this email open it and read it. Some of them have been doing it for years without taking any other action.

If that’s you, let this be a sign. 

Everything you’ve read in this blog will come to life in 2 days at this conference.

So come hear from me, Chris, and a stacked deck of real estate agents and negotiation experts who use Tactical Empathy every day.

See what’s possible. Learn to think in a completely different way. Network with agents who understand how meaningful this work is.

Oh—and maybe win a car.

As they say, to be elite, you have to hang out with the elite.

This is a conference for the elite—the people who are serious about being the best they can be. The special forces of the real estate world. The true masters of the trade.

Join us.

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