The Myth of the Open Mind

Every top agent believes they should win every listing appointment. It’s part of the DNA that makes them successful. That self-belief, that edge, that “I got this” mindset—it fuels their achievements.

But it also blinds them.

Because when they don’t get the listing, something strange happens. They get confused. Sometimes stunned. And their brain starts hunting for something logical to fix:

• “Was it my pricing strategy?”
• “Should I have used more stats?”
• “Did I not build enough rapport?”
• “Maybe I need a better script.”

They assume there’s a rational reason they didn’t win. But here’s the truth that almost no one tells them:

👉 You didn’t lose because of your presentation. You lost because you were the Fool going in.

The Favorite vs. The Fool

Real estate is not a level playing field. People don’t choose the best agent. They choose the agent they like the most—and they usually already know who that is before you even show up.

This is what we call the Favorite or Fool framework (you can learn more about it in our new on-demand video course)

• The Favorite: The agent the seller is predisposed to like and trust.
• The Fool: The other person in the room.

When you're the Favorite, you can make mistakes, forget parts of your presentation, or show up late—and still get the business. When you’re the Fool, you can nail every slide, quote the perfect comp, handle every objection—and still lose.

And here’s the kicker:

👉 Only 20% or less of listing appointments are truly “in play.”

👉 When you’re the Fool, your chances of flipping that appointment and winning the business are at best 50/50.

This is not a tactical issue. This is not a skills issue. This is a human nature issue.

The Science of Decision-Making: Why the Brain Hates Logic

Most top agents make a fatal assumption: that people make decisions logically, that reason and fact are the drivers of human choice.

They couldn’t be more wrong.

The Human Brain is Not Rational

Research in behavioral science, psychology, and neuroscience has shown again and again:

• People decide emotionally, then justify logically.
• The brain is wired to protect its biases, not examine them.
• We seek confirmation, not contradiction.
• There is no such thing as an open mind—only minds with varying degrees of confirmation bias.

You’re not walking into an open arena. You’re walking into a courtroom—and the verdict has already been decided before the trial begins.

Why You Take It Personally—And Why You Shouldn’t

When top agents lose a listing, they often take it personally. It feels like rejection. Like a failure. Like something is wrong with them or what they did.

But this is misapplied responsibility.

You’re blaming yourself for a decision that was never truly yours to influence. That listing wasn’t lost at the table. It was lost (or won) long before the appointment.

And the pain you feel? That comes from resisting reality, not from the loss itself.

The Better Way to Think: Focus on Favoritism, Not Flawlessness

So what’s the shift? Here’s the better mindset:

1. Obsession with conversion is a trap. Obsession with connection is the way.

Stop fixating on winning every listing. Instead, cultivate relationships long before the appointment. That’s when the decision is being made.

2. Accept the role of emotion, attachment, and bias in every decision.

People don’t want to be sold. They want to feel seen, heard, and understood. Tactical Empathy isn’t a strategy—it’s the whole game.

 3. Understand the playing field is tilted. Stop pretending it’s not.

If someone’s cousin is an agent, or they’ve been getting your competitor’s postcards for years, or they already trust someone from their past—you’re showing up at a disadvantage. Acknowledge it and adjust.

4. Don’t judge yourself by wins and losses—judge yourself by how well you showed up.

When you show up grounded, curious, unattached, and fully present, you win regardless of the outcome.

Winning More Listings Starts Long Before the Listing Appointment

The real work happens before the presentation—by becoming the agent people feel most connected to. You do that by:

• Practicing Mindfulness so you don’t bring neediness into the room.
• Cultivating Relationships every day—calls, notes, conversations.
• Communicating with empathy and precision—making them feel understood.
• Implementing Processes that keep you top of mind.
• Acting Strategically by focusing on high-probability relationships, not low-probability cold leads. 

This is The Performance Six in action.

And when you do these things consistently, you don’t have to chase business or be perfect in the room—you’ll already be the Favorite.

Final Thought: Stop Taking It Personally. Start Taking It Professionally.

You’re not entitled to the listing just because you're good. And losing it doesn’t mean you’re not good.

It means this: You weren’t the Favorite. And that’s something you can change—but not with a better pitch. Only with a better presence. 

Start there. Stay there. And watch your business shift—one rewired decision at a time.