When Sellers Aren’t Going to Get What They Want

Here’s the truth no one tells you:
Pricing isn’t about numbers, data, or comps.
It’s about grief.

Every seller is grieving the loss of what they thought their home was worth — or what they hoped it would deliver.

They’re not just pricing a house.
They’re processing a loss.

They’re letting go of:

• The number they anchored to (the fantasy).
• The control they thought they had over the market.
• The story they’ve been telling themselves about what their home represents — success, pride, identity, validation.

And because it’s emotional, not logical, you can’t rush it.
You can’t “educate” them through it.
You can’t force them into reality with data and comps.

You can only guide them through it.

The 5 Stages of Pricing Grief

Just like any grieving process, sellers move through stages — sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly, often looping back.

1. Denial

“The right buyer will pay our price.”

They’re not rejecting you.
They’re rejecting loss.
They’re clinging to the dream price because it protects them from disappointment.

Your move?
Don’t correct.
Acknowledge the emotion underneath:

“It sounds like you feel confident that someone will see the same value you see.”

You’re not agreeing — you’re allowing.
That’s what keeps the door open for truth later.

2. Anger

“That agent doesn’t know what they’re talking about.”
“We don’t have to sell.”

This is a defensive reaction to pain.
The seller is trying to reassert control because they feel it slipping away.

Your move?
Remove yourself as a threat.
Defuse, don’t defend.

“It seems like this process has been more frustrating than you expected.”
“You’ve put a lot into this home — it’s hard to feel like the market doesn’t see that.”

You’re creating safety for the truth to eventually enter.

3. Bargaining

“Let’s just try it at our number for a few weeks.”

This is the negotiation stage — not with you, but with reality itself.
It’s a survival mechanism. They’re testing if fantasy might still be possible.

Your move?
Ask calibrated, reflective questions that gently bring the truth closer:

“What happens if the best buyer who shows up isn’t willing to pay your number?”
“Would you still want to sell, or would you rather hold and wait?”

The goal is not to convince them.
It’s to help them see it for themselves.

4. Depression

“Maybe our home just isn’t that special after all.”

This is the emotional crash that follows realization.
Their dream price is gone, and they’re feeling the weight of it.

Your move?
Hold space.
Don’t fix it. Don’t rush it.

“It sounds like you’re starting to feel the reality of where the market is. That’s not easy.”

When you meet sadness with empathy instead of resistance, truth becomes bearable.

5. Acceptance

“Okay, we see it now. Let’s price where the market is.”

This is where reality and emotion finally align.
They’re ready to make a grounded decision because they feel understood — not pushed.

And here’s the paradox:
They only get to acceptance because you let them go through the other stages without judgment.

The Agent’s Mistake

Most agents skip the grieving process altogether.
They throw logic at emotion.
They try to educate instead of empathize.

And that’s why they end up fighting with clients — or taking overpriced listings that never sell.

When you approach pricing as a process of grief, everything changes.
You stop seeing resistance as a problem.
You stop taking things personally.
You stop trying to convince.

You start guiding.

You start to understand that your job is not to drag someone from fantasy to reality,
but to make reality feel safe enough to enter.

Your Role in the Process

Your job is to:

• Listen for which stage of grief they’re in.
• Label emotions before introducing logic.
• Validate before redirecting.
• Guide them toward clarity — not compliance.

You’re not having a pricing conversation.
You’re walking someone through loss.
Loss of control.
Loss of belief.
Loss of illusion.

And when you can hold space for that — calmly, curiously, without judgment — you become more than an agent.
You become a trusted advisor.

Because in the end, the seller doesn’t need someone to tell them the truth —
they need someone to make the truth feel safe enough to see for themselves.

The Performance Tie-In

This is what Mastering Communication within The Performance Six is really about.
It’s not just talking — it’s guiding.
It’s helping people think clearly when emotion clouds logic.
It’s removing yourself as a threat, crossing the street, and making them feel understood.

When you can hold space for discomfort, the truth becomes a bridge, not a barrier.
And that’s when you move clients — and yourself — from fantasy to reality, from chaos to clarity, and from survival to success.